Entries categorized as ‘philosophy’

The Most Beautiful Fraud in the World

October 27, 2009 · 1 Comment

The words have returned.

The haze of the weekend burned off like dew in the sunshine.  My mental hibernation has been replaced with an acute awareness.   I feel a little like a laser beam split between my desire to run barefoot into the jungle to discover my true Oneness with All There Ever Is and Was and Will Be and my desire to climb the corporate ladder to the top and shift the paradigm of international business in a large, multi-national corporation.  I’m wondering now if it’s possible to do both.  Simultaneously.

I never shared the triumph of my first cover shoot and tonight I’m feeling inspired to do that.  MOLE, a new publication in Tirol asked me to shoot the cover of their first edition magazine.  When I say the words, “media landscape in Tirol,” what comes to your mind?  Most people say something like “mountains” . . . but lest I remind them, a media landscape is not always the same as a landscape.  2+ years in the lovely hamlet produced a lot of cultural richness but a real dirth of commentary about it.  Something about the nature of state-funded publications produces a very bland form of coverage.  Come on, every German-adapted production of The King and I can’t be triumphant, right?  In any case, my job was to consider the media landscape in Tirol.  It was my first ’staged’ ‘concept’ shoot and I ended up taking an old cinema called Cinematograph to realize my image “The Most Beautiful Fraud in the World.”

The quote is from the French founder of new wave cinema Jean-Luc Godard.  I don’t want to come across as a French cinema snob, ’cause i’m not, but his quote hit home on what I was trying to capture.  The media landscape to me was something like a beautiful fraud.  The cinema filled with people represents that the audience is present.  They are showing up, buying their tickets and entering into new experience willingly, eagerly and openly.  The openness of the audience in Tirol to new things always humbled me and helped me find my own portal to openess to new media, culture and art.  Its a wonderful thing for a woman who always had the flexibility to carefully curate her sonic landscape (thanks New York!) to find herself in a place where you get what you get.  The glasses were made of the 7 different popular media outlets that cover ‘kultur’ in Tirol.  The majority are state-funded and, as a result, have a very bland way of covering events that might actually be thrilling.  That bland filter is the cause of the audiences obstructed view…the generic coverage and promotion of the kultur essentially alters it, making it similarly moving, similarly edgy, similarly interesting and, as a result, exactly the same as what came before.  The added element of the cinema further removes the audience from the experience keeping it both filtered and 2 dimensional.

MOLE is going to attempt to alter the media landscape of the Tirol.  Make no mistake, they are also state funded but they are going to attempt to shine a new light and bring a new perspective.  The light of the projector is MOLE…hopefully they can be the beacon ,the light, the difference between ‘the filter’ and the unaltered experience.  I’m certainly rooting for them.  Check out MOLE online or swing by any cultural institution in the Tirol to pick up a copy.

 

The Most Beautiful Fraud in the World

It was an honor to participate in the 1st edition of an idealistic new magazine and a treat to nab the cover. The team assembled making the print and online editions are excellent, inspired people and I hope our paths cross again.

 

Each relic I leave behind me feels a little like a bouey…like breadcrumbs in the forest…showing me the channel through which I’ve sailed.  I leave pieces of me wherever I go not to show me the way back but to remind me where I’ve been.  Like a ship out on the sea…  I’ll have another fun commission to share with you in the coming weeks that will live in Austria for a whole year!  How wonderful.

  Don’t see the player?  That’s okay…click here for my long distance dedication.  Casey Kasem-style.

Categories: contribution · philosophy · photography · published · quotes

“What-If’s” and “Ah ha’s!”

October 21, 2009 · Leave a Comment

It was smoggy today in Hong Kong.  The sun never really made it out from behind the curtain of moisture and smog and clouds and yet, today was the first day when I could see into the distance.  Well, not the literal distance but the theoretical distance, the possible future, the likely ‘whats-next.’  Each discussion I have illuminates new perspectives and challenges and opportunities and slowly but surely the scope of my work here is revealing itself.  It’s not going to be a small job and it’s not going to be dull.  I took a huge leap of faith when I abandoned my nice life in Tirol for this unknown but with each passing day I feel more confident that I knew what I was doing :)

I managed to shave my commute down to 35 minutes from over an hour because I stopped being a dumbass and because a nice colleague showed me the MTR station right next to the office.  Duh.  Part of the fun is the not knowing and then the next stage of that fun is the eventual knowing.  Its my pattern to wait until I’m all-about-the-knowing but by then I’m also usually going…the irony….In any case, my commute allows for fresh air (tram), book reading (MTR) and a (walk) past a (coffee joint).  It’s ideal.  When typhoon season hits I will only have a few spots where I’ll be exposed to the elements and I imagine that this will also come in handy when the summer comes and decides to steam this island up to unbearable degrees.

My brain is a little frazzled with all the “what-ifs,” “ah has!” and “dude….i totally need to do-thats.”  It’s a bit of a treat that I have a 3 day weekend to absorb all the info and ides swirling and try to relax a little.  Or at least try to.  The cats are finally settled but I feel like there are pieces of me that haven’t quite arrived yet.  Like I’m somehow still in transition, that static person shaped blob that isn’t quite beamed up or down yet.  I’m getting there but, often throughout my days, I am still surprised to see such a new landscape.  My hair and skin are going to need a new routine as well since sticky, humid, salty, smoggy air is a new environ.  Lots of adjusting going on here at 2bean…

In honor of the fact that I am just now beginning to see the light…

Categories: 21stCenturySisyphus · IncompleteThought · contribution · deep thoughts · music · philosophy · song4you · stuckinmyhead · travelogue · video

Bring Me That Horizon

September 23, 2009 · Leave a Comment

The lightning bolts that were shooting out of my neck and keeping me from turning my head in any direction had me thinking, for a while anyways, that maybe I shouldn’t turn my head.  Maybe I should just point forward.  Straight ahead.  Now that the electricity has dissipated and I have my peripheral vision back I realize that there was no point to the pinched nerve at all.  It was just good bad luck and a little whiplash.

So flying over the Alps yesterday I was hit with a wave of sadness.  It wasn’t all sadness.  There was a lot of gratitude and excitement and anticipation mixed in but the underlying current was definitely sadness.  Every time I’m about to leave one land for another I get sad.  I don’t think I’ve ever taken my life in the Tyrolean Alps for granted but knowing that I won’t be flying in and out of them, riding up and sliding down them, seeing the sun set pink behind them or falling asleep under their big, blue shadows made me pause.

In an effort to not take anything for granted, I hopped, skipped and flew back to the USA for a whirlwind love-in with friends and family before my schlep East.  I’ve got a big job ahead of me and its a stupidly long flight so I figured I’d head back now to feel less pressure later.  I’ll let you know how that strategy works out.

I started things off in Vermont with some Burlington, some Mud City and some Isle La Mott.  Getting up there was a shit show but upon arrival I was in good hands and let the good times roll.  More rolly than rocky, it felt great to be back in the green mountains.  I caught a glimpse of my future here and there in the ponds and trees and, as is always the case, I brought some VT home with me.  Here’s a couple of my favorite pix, but click here for the whole album.

Green Garden - Mud City

Lake Champlain Sunset

Lake Champlain Sunset

Very Nice People

Very Nice People

I headed South to New Jersey for some quality time with my Grandfather and was swept into total puppy frenzy with Annie the puggle.  As is always true, I enjoyed every moment with Popi though I dream of the day I will be able to beat him at dominos.  The time flew by too fast and it was hard to say goodbye…Here are a couple of my favorite shots from Jerz, but click here for the whole album.

Let sleeping puggles lie

Let sleeping puggles lie

annie

annie

american dreams of a jersey girl

american dreams of a jersey girl

After Jerz I had a therapeutic and relaxing hot minute in CT with my Aunt and Uncle and then it was time to head back to the metropolis for a quick hello with Jamie, Marc & Kelly’s wedding and some Brooklyn love.  Celebrating the love of two dear friends at the juncture of the Brooklyn and Manhattan bridges is a fine way to spend a Saturday.  Here are a couple of my favs but click here for the whole album

Marc & Kelly

Marc & Kelly

yummers

yummers

There is no doubt that hopping on the F Train feels like a breath of fresh air and there is also no doubt that the throbbing metropolis still feels like home.  After the wedding and more mojitos than I remember I shimmered my way to Crown Heights for a little more merry-making with another group of lovelies…birthday cakes, microbrews, fanny packs and Michael Jackson.  Click it!

Mia - Big Buck Hunter

Mia - Big Buck Hunter

la-la-la-ladies

la-la-la-ladies

red velvet

red velvet

My hangover made me late but not un-ready for a spectacular Sunday…a Sunday entailing a new BMW motorcycle, the Meadowlands, wind in my hair and some good times with yet another dear friend.  You can only get a little bit more “American” than an NFL football game in New Jersey complete with tailgate and piss-beer so it was an excellent way to see myself off the continent.  I wasn’t sure I would enjoy sitting on the back of a motorcycle on the BQE but I was pleasantly surprised…really good times!

All the fun and merry-making left me hurtin’ but I was able to squeak in a last minute lunch with another all-star, D, before a date with a chiropractor and then an epicly uncomfortable ride…but it ended with a spectacular view of my amazing backyard and then 2 very, furry kittens. The stress is real now, the job is big but the truth is that everything is good – really good – and I am an incredibly lucky woman.

“It is a profound mistake to think that everything has been discovered; as well think the horizon the boundary of the world” ~Antoine Merin Lemierre

my back yard

Categories: 21stCenturySisyphus · deep thoughts · event · food porn · inspirado · philosophy · photography · quotes · travelogue · written word

the child inside

August 2, 2009 · Leave a Comment

Hard rain is washing away the weekend and in case the water doesn’t work alone rolling thunder is rattling away all traces and after a long blink it will be the first Monday in August.  Close your eyes and open them its Fall, blink again its Winter…close them for a half trip around the sun and you could find yourself on a new continent or with gray hair and grandchildren.  It’s true that time waits for no man…

Last week I got confirmation that a plan I was working on succeeded and, as a result, I will be packing up life in Austria over the course of the next 2 months and moving East.  Next stop:  Hong Kong.  Time is moving so I’m moving with it.  It was not an unexpected result…but it is still taking some time to digest the notion of hitting refresh again.  As this new plot unfolds and the wheels, jet engines and propellers pick up speed I’ll share more.  For this moment we will stay present and not leap ahead…All this mental preparation for the path forward could be one subconscious reason why I spent the weekend regressing.  Cotton candy, circus acts, jungle gyms and bubble gum ice cream.  I was a 33 year old kid this weekend and tried to see this town through the eyes of that child.  Here’s what that looked like…

walk the line - frankcello cirkus

walk the line - frankcello cirkus

seeing things clearly - frankcello cirkus

seeing things clearly - frankcello cirkus

fire eater - frankcello cirkus

fire eater - frankcello cirkus

still a child on the inside - frankcello cirkus

still a child on the inside - frankcello cirkus

home spun sweetness - frankcello cirkus

home spun sweetness - frankcello cirkus

perhaps you remember my last visit to the circus…or maybe not.  if you feel like seeing the camel butts, sword walkers and trick ponies from yesterday, click here.  the way to and from the circus and around town were also noteworthy, colorful experiences.  here are some favorites

olympia

olympia

IBK Street Art

IBK Street Art

primary colors

primary choices

fun

fun

slice of life

slice of life

Pastel colors, blue skys…sunshine and many, many miles around town on foot were sprinkled with QT with friends and some very funny kitties.  Tonight I close my eyes early and get ready for a big Big, BIG, B I G week.

Sunday Doozer

Sunday Doozer

Feel free to click here, here or here to see some other images captured this weekend.

Categories: 21stCenturySisyphus · deep thoughts · graffiti · philosophy · photography · street art · travelogue

Endless Horizons: Part III – South Gobi, Mongolia

July 8, 2009 · Leave a Comment

Ok.  I’ve put this off long enough.  It’s time to share some thoughts about my days in Mongolia before the memories fade and those days dissolve into the tapestry of stories and experience that lies half in the world we are all living in and half in my imagination (a world I rarely leave).

Gift for Buddah

Gift for Buddah

I had no expectations for this leg of the journey except for distance.  I wanted to feel far, far away.  I wanted to be so far away, in fact, that from that distance I could see my own trajectory into the future…I wanted to see where my path is leading, my personal horizon and glean a clue about what’s next for Beana.  Mongolia can definitely deliver on ‘the middle of nowhere’ vibe that I am describing.  Tucked between Russia, China and Kazakhstan I was as remote as I have ever been.  It was perfect.  In a land with endless horizon I got a glimpse of my own.

Arriving by train gave me some time to prepare but, if I’m honest, it would be hard for anybody to be prepared for Ulaanbaatar.  A huge pothole trimmed with ger camp suburbs and a less-than-graceful attempt at civil engineering, you can almost feel the city growing as you stand in it.  The traffic is perpetually at ‘Midtown Manhattan rush hour’ levels with less grid and more chaos.  I had 3 nights in UB all together and, though I saw many parts of the city, I didn’t have time to do the solo wandering that always connects me to my destination.  The Soviet influence is clear and that stark, boxy aesthetic creates an odd texture when paired with the organic looking gers scattered throughout the city.

Ulaanbaatar, Mongolia

None of the ’sights’ in UB feel even remotely touristy.  Everything is so chill and relaxed that you can stumble into an amazing Temple Museum and not even realize it.  In China every facade was restored to a Disney-like-perfection where it was sometimes hard to imagine the monument or place being lived in.  In Mongolia it was far different.  Lived in is how the whole country felt…you can feel the life happening there, the pulse.  An absolute favorite day for me in UB was visiting the Ghandan Khiid Monastery.  This place is a living, breathing Buddhist temple where tourists are allowed entry to every single building there.  Monks out number visitors significantly so this is not a bad arrangement.  It was absolutely transcendental…one of the most beautiful and amazing things I have ever seen.  Drums and chanting and bells and prayer wheels with the smell of milktea hanging in the air, it was like time traveling.  Photos weren’t welcome here but I was allowed to make a couple…

Young Monks - Ghaandin Khiid Monastery

Young Monks - Ghaandin Khiid Monastery

Aside from some sightseeing in UB, my only agenda was to score some boots that would let me ride like the wind when it came time for some horse trekking.  I got an A+ on this assignment and wait for Fall now so I can wear them every day.  A domestic flight carried me from Ulaanbaatar south to a ‘city’ called Dalanzgdad, or DZ.  I remember thinking that the runway at Ghengis Khaan Airport is the only stretch of pavement anywhere in UB without potholes.  Flying over the Gobi was as surreal as training through it but stepping outside the airport and seeing a battalion of 4 wheel drive vehicles brought me back to reality right quick.  Tuya and Nassa were my guides there, a young married couple, and it was clear I was in the right hands when the first words out of Tuya’s mouth after ‘welcome’ were, “welcome to south gobi, one of the most beautiful places in the world.  i love my country.’  After a short stop for gas we drove out into the steppe.  The sensation of leaving pavement and driving through wide open spaces is hard to describe.  Total freedom.  Unplugged.

Road Less Traveled - South Gobi

Road Less Traveled - South Gobi

Thinking about 21st century nomads is something different than spending time with them.  Where there is water, there is life so the movement and routine of the herds people is far from random.  There is logic to the movement and safety in the routine and after water, shelter, community and food are the only other necessities.  And vodka, I suppose.  I can tell you that all the static electricity that is our Western social construct fades away when you see how life on Earth – one of the harshest places on Earth – is lived day to day.  Its humbling to see their strength and generosity and humor and it reinforces a notion that I think often – less is more.  Ankle bone horse racing, singing to one another, watching baby animals clumsily get acquainted with the world and taking joy in tending the herd and making the dairy is a rich and beautiful existence.  Many younger generations are tempted to leave these old ways and make a modern life in the city which is very sad to see…an entire culture going extinct.  What gives me hope is that even those trying for a new life in UB bring their children to their parents and aunts and uncles in the ‘countryside’ so most children there learn the ways of their families and honor their roots, if only for summers.

21st Centruy Nomads

21st Centruy Nomads

Help for the Summer

Help for the Summer

I could write a book about how South Gobi impacted me but I am going to try to focus here.  There were 3 major sites that I visited:  Khongoryn Els or ‘the singing dunes,’ Yolyn Alm or ‘Eagle Gorge,’ and Banyzang or ‘the Flaming Cliffs.’  The dunes spoke to me on a personal level and therefore that is the story I will share now but I believe that it was seeing all three of them, the diversity of the Gobi, that made the experience so fantastic.  A little like in Las Vegas, the scale of everything in Gobi is a bit disorienting.  Things appear to be nearby that are actually 50km away so it is no surprise that I underestimated my ability to quickly summit the highest point for sunset.  The sand is so soft so for every 2 steps you take forward you slide back 3.  Imagine climbing a tidal wave and you can begin to fathom this experience.  With each handful of sand you push down in your effort to go up, you can feel – literally tons! – of sand moving beneath you.  As the sand slides over itself it makes a low, groaning and sweeping sound that is the song referred to when talking about the ’singing dunes.’  It’s impossible not to look down as you claw your way up so in addition to being physically grueling, it is also vertigo-inducing.  Not everybody could make it even halfway up and, with about 18 kilos of camera on my back, I was determined not to be among that group.  After 1 1/2 hour of OCD, Rainman-like counting….25 steps up, breath for 50…25 steps up, breath for 50…I made it to the top of the Gobi. 

Top of the Gobi

Top of the Gobi

It was just Tuya, Nassa and I and they left me after an hour or so to have the sunset to myself.  I had the sublime pleasure of standing alone on a windless night, the faint sound of the dunes and some baby camels calling for mama in my ears, watching a pink and orange fireball light the desert up before sinking below the horizon and washing everything in lilac.  I can think of a handful of moments in my life when I have been in *exactly* the right place at the right time and this was one of them.  The same way the sun lit up the steppes and mountains and dunes, it lit me up to.  Life-altering and life-affirming travel, indeed.  The light that shone on me that night remains glowing and the clarity and vision that it revealed are making wheels turn as we speak.  The middle of nowhere was the center of me.

Singing Dunes

Singing Dunes

Khongryn Els

Khongryn Els

It is poetic and perfectly perfect that after this sublime moment alone with God that I hopped on a sled and let my adrenalin pump as I sped down the way I climbed up.  Its like enlightenment and rock and roll all at the same time…the kind of life I like living.   4 more days of traversing the desert allowed me to experience life in a ger, sample the vast and interesting assortment of dairy products made by the herds people, gallop across dunes on a camel named Huchbar, slide across a Gobi glacier and score a fossilized dinosaur egg at the Flaming Cliffs.  I was sad to say goodbye to Tuya and Nassa and their epic and awesome land but I feel like a piece of it came home with me.

Camel Herder & Baby Duck

Camel Herder & Baby Duck

Click here for a slideshow of my days in South Gobi.

Categories: 21stCenturySisyphus · deep thoughts · event · inspirado · philosophy · photography · review · travelogue · written word

The Real World

June 22, 2009 · Leave a Comment

I’ve been back from holiday for a week now and more than 8 people have said to me, “welcome back to the real world!”  I know that the intention is good and this is a an acknowledgement that I was in another kind of reality for the last month but these words have been echoing in my head since thier first utterance.  The real world?  Is that where my life is located?  What does that say for the billions – yes, billions – of people located all over the Earth that have a reality different than mine?  A world where water is still the primary concern followed shortly by shelter, food and community?  Is that not the real world?  I would make the argument that this holiday I had, this vacation, was into the real world and not the opposite.

Getting Water

Getting Water

Only 5 days into my normal routine and I can’t shake the fact that everything I’m doing is somehow floating above the surface, mired in an ocean of static and electricity, the tasks are like turning the gears of a clock in a world with no time.  I am making and writing and shifting and doing all with the purpose of being able to do the same thing tomorrow.  Like the Doozer’s living in Fraggle Rock, I am building things simply for the sake of building them.  Need is irrelevant.  Good design is optional.  Cooperation is a luxury.  The Western way, the capitalist way, isn’t as concerned with the output as the money made from the output and I can’t understand why I have always been okay with this relationship.  I haven’t just been okay with it but have educated myself to maximize it and, with it, my own personal benefits.   

Skin - All They Have To Sell

Skin - All They Have To Sell

I refer to myself as Sisyphus all the time, the 21st century variety, and that is true but if I recall the story correctly Sisyphus was in hell.  I am not.  Or at least, I would like to choose an alternative.  It took a journey to the East to gain some perspective on the West and now I am grappling with that new view.  Don’t get me wrong, I like comfort and am deeply grateful for the gifts and luck I have had that allows me to live the life I am living but I am seeing something else now…life with purpose, concern for the output rather than the money made from it and comfort are not mutually exclusive.  It is possible to take the same skills and same passions I use for perpetuating the daily grind to turn the gears of a different machine…one that impacts the ‘real world’ in a ‘real way.’

Sisters - UB Girls in the Country

Sisters - UB Girls in the Country

Since my return I have been combing through my images, watching zillions of TED presentations, looking in the mirror and asking myself some very clear questions.  I am full to the brim, overflowing in fact, with inspiration and I am considering carefully where to direct this new passion and energy so as to help reconnect me with the ‘real world’ and also maintain the flexible freedom that I have worked hard to achieve.  A garden would be a simple beginning – reconnecting literally with where my food comes from – while the opposite end of the specturm would be dropping everything and heading to Africa to dig wells.  As you can see, it is a big arc that I am mentally traversing and I am curious to see where on it I will land.

The honest truth is that I don’t know yet how, and how much, I want to change or how radical that change should be but I can say that the thought is pumping through me like my blood.   

3rd Day Horse Trek - Beana in Central Mongolia

3rd Day Horse Trek - Beana in Central Mongolia

Categories: 21stCenturySisyphus · deep thoughts · inspirado · philosophy · photography · stuckinmyhead · video · written word

Getting Closer to Getting There

June 18, 2009 · 1 Comment

I’m not so much a ‘horse person’ as much as a ‘remote nature person.’  More transportation and less childlike obsession, I thought just under 5 days on horseback in Central Mongolia would be a perfect way to get off the beaten track and I was accurate.  It was spectacular and I am going to show you what it looked like and where I went.  Eventually.  Probably this weekend.

In addition to the memories, images and callouses I brought home, I have also acquired some crazy back pain.  I keep saying that I’m going to give it ‘one more day’ to sort itself out but I’m thinking today is the day to see what’s shaking (or, more accurately, what was shook).  Galloping across the open plains on a horse that has an invisible rocket up its ass looks like freedom buut I can tell you it feels like something else…

While I nurse my spine and continue to try and get back on the proverbial horse that is work, I will leave you with a favorite image of Ulaanbaatar’s Black Market.

Back Room, Black Market

Back Room, Black Market

As far as the ‘getting closer to getting closer,’ I will reveal to you my plan.  I am going to finish editing and uploading the images from Mongolia’s epic ‘countryside’ this weekend.  Once everything I wish to share is up I am going to accumulate a ‘best of’ album of the whole trip, basically my favorites…This going through, and going through and going through is the process by which I will distill the recap that will give you some insight into where I went and what it meant.

Categories: 21stCenturySisyphus · IncompleteThought · deep thoughts · inspirado · philosophy · photography · travelogue

Getting to Getting There

June 17, 2009 · Leave a Comment

“The hard part about mind-blowing experiences is that your mind cannot (and should not) revert back to its previous shape”

These wise words just arrived in a note from a friend and I was happy for something tangible to help explain why, though almost everything is the same, I feel different inside my skin.  ((Thank you, Matt))  Departure from routine and all things familiar has a way of expanding perspectives so it’s really no wonder that I am having trouble fitting myself inside myself.  Like the extra suitcase I bought at Ulaanbaatar’s State Department Store to help carry all the goodies I accumulated in my travels, I am now considering how to go about carrying this extra understanding gracefully.  Combing through only 10 days of images from Beijing and the train ride to Mongolia, I feel like I have been swept back to the beginning of a movement, the first notes of what will become a crescendo.  My trip was like a spiral with each leg of the journey taking me in a seemingly larger circle, encompassing more, and revealing more so that now I feel like I am crawling through a wormhole, squeezing through tight spaces, to bring myself back to the beginning.

Distance brings perspective so I figured that the further away I went, perhaps, the further I could see.  Coated with smog in Beijing and also standing alone in vast expanses of the Gobi Desert I found that, regardless of the actual visibility, that clarity inside me was crystal clear.  I’m far-sighted in actuality and it would seem as though the same is true metaphorically speaking.  Standing up close and personal now with everything I could see so clearly only a week ago, the edges are blurry as my eyes and mind refocus.  I feel like one of my camera lenses zooming in and out trying to find the focal point around which I can compose the picture.

Half of the journies photographs are already visible but I need a little more time to consider how I want to share the stories that accompany them in addition to the rest of the images…

I’m getting to the part where I get there.  In the meantime, I will hide behind my fan, get back to work and let the dust settle.

Categories: 21stCenturySisyphus · IncompleteThought · deep thoughts · inspirado · philosophy · photography · quotes · travelogue

Roads We Abandon, Roads We Take

May 9, 2009 · Leave a Comment

Pacing along the banks of Lake Zurich last Thursday night I found my mind skipping like a stone across placid water; ripples bumping into ripples, circles breaking surface tension, the stone eventually dipping below the surface and sinking out of sight.  Anticipation, I think, is the fine line between anxiety and positive expectations and when traversed like a tight rope  it can be an exciting ride.  I awoke on Friday to a stillness that seldom visits me and headed to Zurich to open a door I had closed more than 2 years ago.  A delay proved to not ripple those still waters and, as though no time had passed, we said ‘hello’ and headed south to the Italian Riveria.

Anticipation - Zurichsee

Anticipation - Zurichsee

If I could drink the air in Cinque Terre like a cocktail I would do so happily with some muddled sunshine and a dash of sea salt.  This delicious concoction couldn’t be enjoyed in a dainty, fragile martini glass but should be served instead in a big, wide wooden bowl so the sweetness and salt drips down your cheeks as you drink it in.  Cresting the first cliff on our way into Riomaggiore, the Mediterranean spread out bright blue beneath us, it was clear this was not going to be an average weekend  road trip.  The phrase ‘be careful what you wish for’ has surprised me with its truthiness more times than I can count so I’m not sure why I find/found myself suddenly so surprised.

Dont Look Back - Cinque Terre

Dont Look Back - Cinque Terre

The villages of Cinque Terre look like precariously stacked building blocks, colorful and Seuss-like, all ready to topple and tumble into the sea at any moment.  Tucked into terraces of grape vines and lemon trees, its no surprise that the entire place smells as sweet as honey.  Blue skies, deep turquoise water and a little gravity pulled us down the hill into town and, after a cafe latte, a rush of walking stick-carrying toursist swept us up onto the Via dell Amore (Walk of Love).  Even with what felt like a swarm of people around me, the serenity of Cinque Terre still managed to envelope me.  I abandoned any conflicts I had with sharing the Via dell Amore with both Uncertainty and Strangers and coasted the 5-6 kilomenteres from Riomaggiore, through Manarola to Corneglia.

Riomaggiore, Italy - Cinque Terre

Riomaggiore, Italy - Cinque Terre

Hot in the sun and cool in the shade, the deep deeeep deeeeeep emerald blue of the Mediterrenean called to me like the sirens song and in Corneglia I made a B-Line to the ‘marina’ to get my feet wet.  He observed right around then that when I want something there is often no stoppping me and I had to (and still have to) agree.  Some frozen lemonade, sweet truths and an uncomfortably packed train ride later we arrived in Monterossa where I let myself get swallowed up by the Big Blue.  Seeing my reflection, hair salty and wet, in his sunglasses after my swim I saw myself clearly, the lines and definition made sharper with the yellow light.  With the sun behind us we rode the ferry back the way we had come with our first glimpse of Vernazza and a sunset landing back home in Riomaggiore.  From some stairs by our rented room we watched the sun go down and I considered how I might go about botteling the sky so as to let it free in my apartment when I returned home.

Sunday - Monterossa, Italy

Sunday - Monterossa, Italy

Leaving the Coast the following morning I drank in my last breaths of salty sea air and Ligurian romance, rubbed my belly where the mounds of fresh seafood were still being digested and smiled at my travel companion who was shuttling us north to Tuscany.  For the last months I have been counting down the days to my trip to the Far East and somehow, magically I was not wandering alone in the Gobi but first skipping over the hills of Tuscany like a stone on water…that cliche about finding things when you stop looking is a cliche for a reason.  Secret vacations and lost weekends could very well be the fuel that propels any woman out of bed in the morning and smiling through her days.

Cinque Terre

Cinque Terre

This trip went further inward than the mere 1000 kilometers we did on land and the cyprus trees and rolling hills were more of a backdrop than the focus.  Something about travel and the world speeding outside the window frees me and this trip, though not a solo sojourn, was no different.  As I grow (um…older) it gets easier and easier to be the same person regardless of company and geography and I am always surprised at the weight that that honesty can lift.  That statement makes me think of an image of Atlas carrying the world on his back but I think that Hercules was the stronger of the two…

A Bean Divided - Tuscany

A Bean Divided - Tuscany

Riding bikes around the walls of lovely Lucca, crawling over the hills and fields of Tuscany and the Apanine Alps the day passed slowly before we landed like a glider on the banks of Lake Garda.  Hotel Lido was aptly tucked into a small town called Val di Sogno, Valley of Dreams, and from our balcony we watched the twilight sky go from blue to purple to black.  ‘House red’ is always a good call in Italy and a large carafe liberated some of the harder truths and realities that this trip brought to the surface.  The whole journey, the whole week actually, were something of a crescendo.  More information, more intensity each day.  It built like a wave in the ocean and Lago di Garda was the point when the first bits of white froth curled over and fell back to the sea.  Truths, even when they are dark and prickely, are better than the alternative and with the sunrise on Monday came a renewed sense of understanding and desire to enjoy the day.

Speeding Through Garda

Speeding Through Garda

Breakfast crepes, 2 caffe lattes and a castle on a lake are a perfect day by themselves so the laughter and conversation and photos and the rest were all gravy.  We landed back in Innsbruck in time to see the sun set on my Alps, the Tirolean Alps, and relaxed in the furry paws of my best boys.  Though the trip was over for me, the crescendo continued to build and rise, revealing more information and asking more questions up until yesterday when a train and then some planes carried my friend away.  The crescendo crashed like they are wont to do, a wave on the sand sliding slowly and surely back to the sea.  The melody changed now softer, clearer and speaking plainly.

My suitcase remains out.  My passport returns home from the Russian and Chinese consulates next week and in 2 weeks time I will fly away.  Again.  This time alone.  The juxtaposition of a trip spent so clearly together to a trip so clearly alone should provide some contrast and context to consider both where I stand and where I’m going.  I have plenty of food for thought.

Local Ligurian Lemons

Local Ligurian Lemons

If you’d like to enjoy some more photos of 72 hours in Italy, click here for the whole album.


Categories: 21stCenturySisyphus · IncompleteThought · deep thoughts · event · food porn · inspirado · mp3s · music · philosophy · photography · poetry · quotes · song4you · travelogue · written word

Buying Time

April 25, 2009 · Leave a Comment

I find that every time I head to a flea market I am always drawn to the same things….clocks, religious art, mirrors, cameras and portraits of strangers.  Could an analyst read something into this?  I was contemplating this thought sifting through a pile of clocks at this mornings flea market.  Maybe I’m trying to by myself some time…

I’m listening to This American Life and the theme is “This I Used to Believe.” If you had to write a 3 minute essay about something that you used to believe in, but you don’t anymore, what would you say?

There’s a lot on my mind right now…too much to try to translate into words so, instead, we will take an existentialist approach, a game of sorts….Via images and titles let’s see if you can’t get an idea of where the Bean stands

Any Way You Can Get Here

Any Way You Can Get Here

Dont We All

Don't We All

From Where I Stand

From Where I Stand

Dream Girl

Dream Girl

One Day Me

One Day Me

Today Me

Today Me

Guardian

Guardian

Categories: 21stCenturySisyphus · IncompleteThought · art · deep thoughts · graffiti · philosophy · photography · street art · travelogue

Foreshadowing

April 21, 2009 · Leave a Comment

The fog is lifting and the mood behind the clouds and haze is quiet, cautious optimisim.  I’m pretty sure that I summoned the fog to numb me from some unpleasant realizations and some family drama but I am hopeful that as the wind blows the clouds away my unrealistic expectations will blow away with it.  That’s the hope, anyway.

There are so many lights on the horizon now….what was just one carrot dangling before my nose to pull me through is now a field of carrots.  As I was wrting that I thought it was going to sound better than it does.  Why is it that one carrot sounds so much more motivating than many?  I digress…anyway, this Thursday with Sonic Youth in Munich followed by next weekend with an old lover in Cinque Terra followed by my sojourn to Asia only 2 weeks later is A LOT of motivation.  Then I will shake the rock and salt and sand from my soul and wake up to June.  It’s amazing.  Scary and amazing.

“Those who desire to give up freedom in order to gain security will not have, nor do they deserve, either one.”  ~Benji Franklin

All that talk about nothing ventured, nothing gained has proved to be true for me.  Give it all up, let it all go and be prepared to be pummled when it clammers to come back and devour you.  I need a Zen Master to tell me what comes after letting fear go…because I think I’m there.

Switching tracks now (completely) I will share a little of last weekends trials and tribulations.  That sounds a little heavy but the reality was my weekend was chill.  I worked on a new collage/painting/sculpture thing that just might see the light of 2bean one day soon…I photographed a very pregnant woman in a field high in the mountains, I had a slumber party with Wendy that resulted in the best portrait of Walter Sobchak to date (and a lot of f-ing whiskey), I drank some coffee in the city with varied and radical peeps, I watched the first 2 seasons of Entourage and find myself liking Jeremy Piven more than I did before I saw the show, I talked philospohy with Niko over the best bread in the Tirol and managed to do a little work on some freelance opportunities I could have in the not-so-far future.

Walter Sobchak

Walter Sobchak

If you’re inclined to peruse the rest, by all means, click here and the 1st 2 pages will equal the last 2 days.  Between the blog and my flicker archive I am truly transparent, all my careful days there for all of you to see and feel….Clearly I am better at keeping your secrets than my own.

Here’s a song for Tuesday…

Dont see the player?  Click here.

Categories: 21stCenturySisyphus · IncompleteThought · contribution · deep thoughts · inspirado · mp3s · music · philosophy · photography · quotes · song4you